Twitter Thread: What Kind Of Rock Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson Is

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mattstaff
Mar 2, 2020 11:00 PM EST

This is no joking matter. No, not to field geophysicist, Mika McKinnon. She tasked herself with identifying what kind of rock Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is. She really delves into "The Rock's" various attributes and leaves no stone unturned. 

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  • 01
    Text - Mika McKinnon @mikamckinnon FAQ: Is @TheRock igneous, metamorphic, or sedimentary? A: It'd be rude to examine his texture, so consider his origin & path. He's evolved under immense pressure, dramatically changed yet never shattered, and doesn't explode even when provoked. Metamorphic.
    via @mikamckinnon
  • 02
    Text - Mika McKinnon @mikamckinnon Igneous rocks crystallize from magma as they cool. Their composition & texture is determined from the start; from their first moments you can predict the path they'll take. You can't do that with the Rock. Even before you debate if he's getting more or less hot with age.
    via @mikamckinnon
  • 03
    Text - Mika McKinnon @mikamckinnon Sedimentary rocks are made from the remains of other broken rocks cemented or compressed for form new rocks. The Rock has a juvie record, got cut from his Big Break as a football star, repeatedly got boo'd (& injured) under multiple WWF names, and did not shatter. Somehow.
    via @mikamckinnon
  • 04
    Text - Mika McKinnon @mikamckinnon Metamorphic rocks are altered by immense temperature, pressure, or both. Their fabric and texture changes and can keep changing. Even their composition can alter, creating a radically new rock that's somehow true to its origin. They just get shinier & more distinctive.
    via @mikamckinnon
  • 05
    Text - Mika McKinnon @mikamckinnon Metamorphic rocks can be sub-classified by their texture: foliated or non-foliated? The Rock does not appear to have stripes or banding, so I'm going with non-foliated. That means he's likely gotten harder with progressive metamorphism. Do not poke (or lick) without consent.
    via @mikamckinnon
  • 06
    Text - Mika McKinnon @mikamckinnon Note: I've yet to observe The Rock under natural lighting, so it's hard to distinguish if he's just lightly foliated. He may possess slaty or phyllitic cleavage, aligned platey minerals too small to see yet enough to produce a distinctive shine. But that'd imply less pressure.
    via @mikamckinnon
  • 07
    Text - Mika McKinnon @mikamckinnon Non-foliated metamorphic rocks are classified by their composition. Again, it'd be rude to subject the rock to a geochemical analysis, but again, we can look to origin. US & Canadian dual citizenship = could be anything. Somoan heritage = volcanic islands with reefs.
    via @mikamckinnon
  • 08
    Text - Mika McKinnon @mikamckinnon Reefs + pressure = marble But The Rock consumes lemons without dissolving, so nah. Sand + pressure = quartzite He's Hard AF, but not nearly that common Subducted talc = soapstone But that's extremely soft. And all are low pressure. Which doesn't fit at all.
    via @mikamckinnon
  • 09
    Text - Mika McKinnon @mikamckinnon The most important part of science is revising theory to match observations. I said The Rock did not appear to have banding. It's more accurate to say The Rock didn't USED TO have banding. He's been getting more striped over time. He's acquired banding with pressure.
    via @mikamckinnon
  • 10
    Text - Mika McKinnon @mikamckinnon The Rock is a foliated rock with increasing metamorphic grade as he's been under pressure for longer time. He was low-grade slate as a footballer, a shiny phillite as a WWF star, transitioned to shist during his 2003 heritage tattooing, & is now gneiss. How nice!
    via @mikamckinnon
  • 11
    Text - Mika McKinnon @mikamckinnon So what type of rock is The Rock? He's a foliated metamorphic, transitioned to gneiss in 2017. He'll likely continue to stay gneiss for the remainder of his career, potentially acquiring more banding. Should he start getting hot-yet-squishy, he may transition to migmatite.
    via @mikamckinnon
  • 12
    Text - Mika McKinnon @mikamckinnon Epilogue: 1. Metamorphic rocks are not identified by taste, so licking The Rock will not confirm this classification. Licking is primarily diagnostic on water soluable rocks so your tongue can taste them. He doesn't dissolve when submerged. And he's on the Do Not Lick list:
    via @mikamckinnon
  • 13
    Text - Mika McKinnon @mikamckinnon 2. I'm seeing debate on if The Rock is hot or cool. As a foliated metamorphic, temperature is irrelevant to his classification provided he's below his melting point. He can be both. If he's too hot, he'll transition to partial-melt migmatite on the metamorphic/igneous boundary.
    via @mikamckinnon
  • 14
    Text - Mika McKinnon @mikamckinnon 3. For those asking why The Rock doesn't weather, that's super-rude! Multi-generation celebrity wrestling status provided tough components. Rocks are most resilient under their formation conditions, so his Canadian/Samoan heritage enhances resistance to a wide temperature range.
    via @mikamckinnon
  • 15
    Text - Mika McKinnon @mikamckinnon 4. Many claim The Rock is cagey about his geological classification. Based on his fav quote & goofy humour, I suspect he finds geologic jargon puns irresistible as the rest of us.
    via @mikamckinnon

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